Sunday, April 30, 2006

Bloody sick, again.

ccb, farking sit in the car with muh fren coughing and sneezing...inside a car..
air-conditioning or circulation.
Which means, germs on circulation as well...
the next thing you know,

"wei, are you feeling col *AHHH CHIU!* "...
from then till now, nose leak like girl having multiple orgasms on a friday night.
Too bad it's mucus. sigh.

The remedy
:
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Earl grey with lemon, HOT.

`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`

"Mummy, I wanted to bake you a cake and prepare for you breakfast in bed for mother's day.
But I was too busy outside with my friends."

"So your friends are more important than your own mother?"

"But mummy, it's the thought that counts mah right?"

"Fuck you, never heard of 'actions speak louder than words' ah?"

"Oh, bitch, you want to play phrases with me issit now, college drop-out.
I thought I could bake you the cake in 40 minutes and ready in the next morning ma.
But someone stole my time."

"Who?"

"Procrastinay Shen."

"Fuck you, your own mother also you don't give a machowhai lah."

"You already got machowhai how to give you summore?"

"Fuck you."

"Fuck daddy."

"Get out, I'm disowning you."

"No, not before I disown you first."

"You can't disown your mother! I OWN YOU! I gave birth to you!"

"Why MUST YOU DO THAT?
why must you reveal me to the world of germs, bacteria, virus, assignments, education , homework? WHY? WHY?"

"Fuck you, I also revealed you to your biggest passion lah!"

"What passion? Cars? You don't even bother about anything I do what do you know about my passion?"

"Fuck you, that's not even one of your passions, your passion is to masturbate what.
you think everytime you in your room lock the door then what,
you think we think that you doing homework ah?
FUck lah 24/7 only how to wank.
I give birth to you for what?
To try and make babies yourself ah?"

"Okay, sorry mummy, I will never procrastinate, say your chow hai smelly and masturbate with my room door locked anymore, I promise."

"Fuck you, of course lock your room door lah, oh my god, why did god gave me such a mentally retarded son? why...ohmygod..sigh."

"Mummy, I'm actually not that stupid one, sometimes I beat my friends in something to do with education."

"Masturbation is not education."

"It is! It is under sex education! A website I surfed yesterday teached me,
then I tell my friends,
I beat 5 of them in the 0-100 sg/m(shags per minute) race."

...

So, don't forget to get your mum something for mother's day, or your conversation may end up something like this.

`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'

Wiralution : Failed attempts.

ever since Jon told me Proton Wiras are ugly in white,
I couldn't help to think that he is true,
everyday I look at my car,

God fucking hell, that's uglier than a pair of sagging boobs.

So, in my attempt to try to make it look better.
This is what I did.

1) Eyelids

after a two hour job, the result :

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It took long to do but I don't feel any satisfaction.
I showed my friends,

"eh see see see my lights, yeng or not?"

"WTF HAHA&%$@*&^ DAMN CHAT LAN JIAO LALA WEI"
"WHY YOU DRIVE CAR PUT AHBENG EYELIDS ONE?"

... diu

2) Second attempt at eyelids.

This time I sprayed the film white, to match the car's colour.

Result :

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Omg, colour is so damn different, fucking ugly...

3) Wira SE front grille.

OMG, colour also different. with the eyelids summore..
omcibai , damn ugly, serious.

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4) took out eyelids
...

aih...this is the best I can go lah, next time spray new colour one shot.


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`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'

Last minute work?

Assignment due in the next day?


but you're only reading the question the day before at 11pm?

THE Solution :

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1) One big ass cup of coffee, the phone is there to show you the size of the cup
2) Bread for the carbohydrate energy

and I had two of those big cups = 4x300ml ; 1.2 litres of coffee! omg. water meh....
____________________________________________________________

Daniel pointed out this blog to me,

http://colinandkero.blogspot.com

So I read it, here's an abstract from the blog,

Abstract :

darlin colin came to my house. and i let him use the comp while i was bathin. and when i came out. i was lyin on the bed cos im too sleepy. and darlin colin came lyin beside me, on my arms. and we fell asleep until 5.35am. he woke me up and left my house. sorry darlin. i din sent you to flag cab. i was too sleepy. muacks. i love you as much still. as much as the volume of ocean. hmm. i will stop lovin you only when.. the sun dies. the moon become triangle. the stars taste like strawberry ice blended.

end of abstract
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'

Hmm, the girl is like so in love and mushy towards colin, the guy.
But you must be wondering, what kind of name is Kero for a girl.
Hmmmm.....problem is, Kero is NOT a girl.

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Fuck, and they're only 17.

But I think Colin is quite cutelah, I also want to be his boyfriend.

And if you want something much more extreme.

http://juniorang.blogspot.com

Check out they're flickr pics, and please hell, if you're a guy, make sure you are viewing this privately, or else, someone else will think YOU ARE FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND CHECKING THOSE KINDA PICS WHICH TURN YOU ON. but no worries, no dick and balls.
just fucking WTF



`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'

Last night, we went to KL to fetch mr.kok wah back to PJ, and I was in the car with Don only.

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And we are talking shit and rubbish and laughing about colin and kero.
then he said

"Yo Ken, let's camwhore"
"FUCK YOU LAH FUCKING GAY LAH"
"haha like colin and kero"
"WTDAFUCK SHIT YOU LAH "
"DAM FUCKING GAY HAHA"
"Okay"




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CIBAI, I FEEL FUCKING GAY NOW.

faster look at girl.

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ohh...stim.

wow, 1 hour can type 1000 words. If only assignment can do at this speed.

Random :

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I'm a small boy. I like games.
Haiyor after watching TopGear got hooked on it, and after one hour of heavy engine roars and low exhaust bass...
drive own car not shiok already.
the next best alternative?
play NFSU2.
I like games.
If you didn't know I was a whatever-to-do-with-PC addict,

DON'T see my old blog :
http://kennethtang.blogspot.com

I feel stupid reading what I wrote...erm...2 years ago.

Okay darlings gotta sleep now, good night dear.
Love you always!
Muaksz~~*, my life would never be the same without you, cupcake.
-Kenny boiboi

Thursday, April 27, 2006

omg

today I got my the first assignment I did returned to me..I scored 40%, exclusive of10% of my total score for passing up late. And it was super last minute, which was nothing but typing everything from the textbook, without proper formatting like spacing, referencing.

So I have 36%, my next assignment due this Friday at 5pm.
I have to score over 50% assignment 1 and 2 combined...So the coming assignment must score 64% and above..or else.

I WILL HAVE TO REPEAT THE SEMESTER ! !

HOLY SHIT FUCK DIU NIA MA CI BAI FA HAI CHAO LAT

HAM KA CHAN FUCKING LAST MINUTE WUTHAFUCK

SERIOUS PUSSY FUCK,

WHY DO I TAKE THIS FUCKING COURSE IN THE FIRST PLACE

CHAO HAI, WHY MUST WE EDUCATE OURSELVES FUCKER

SELL CENDOL IS EASIER AND SAVE UNTIL CAN DRIVE SLR

CIBAI WHY MUST WE STUDY LIKE FUCK GAY GOAT WHORE

BE GIGOLO CAN DRIVE CLK,M6,ASTON,911 WTVR

STUDY BUSINESS, YOU BECOME FUCKING NUTS FUCKER SUCK COCK BITCH

KAM KA CHAN LAN JIAO FUCKING MONASH FUCK YOUR LAN JIAO FOUNDER

FUCK HIM THROUGH HIS EARS AND FUCKING BLEND HIS BALLS

BASTARD BITCH DIU DIU DIU HAMKALING!!!!!!!!

I duwun to learn anymore.....

Monday, April 24, 2006

du, dududu du du du dudedu.

car wash...
tralalala...
wiping car..
lalalla....
shine we are~
aiyor so big scratch...when wanna spray...RM400+
aiyor dent here, idiot drivers....knock back and spray...RM150
aiyor cracked bumper...wanna change RM230
change rear bumper...RM200...spray...
skirtings....RMdunnohowmuch...
K&N Filter...RM250
Grounding kit...RM150
engine flush and decarb..RM 320...
subwoofer...RM350...

money money money ...
washing a really really old and kena accident before car really really sucks...
make your heart pain and poison yourself with and old and ugly car...
for a car lover...makes your heart bleed only....

Die Lor....

I think I will move to Sungai Keluli, kampung cempaka 54000,Seremban...
So I got nowhere to go but stay there,
don't have to spend money...
Save save save.
Until I get RM2,000, then come back to PJ.
Sigh.

So while I was washing my car,

"Oh yeah, engine oil long time didnt check already,keep forgetting week after week."
Take tissue...
Start engine, run for 2 minutes...wait 1 minute...
take out,
wipe with tissue.
put in and out again...
hmm?...cannot see one...
again...
eh?...
wtf...

walauweih, I must poke in supress the rubber baru can touch the edge of the dipstick.
cannot even reach the 'N' on the MIN(minimum) word.




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*bang, dung dung dung dung*

"Daddy! my car ah, no more engine oil! You come and see!"

*bang, dung dung dung dun*

"WAH! KEN! Dun PLay play ah, no engine oil the car can suddenly got fire and burst ah!"

"KEN! This is very dangerous! That's why i ask you to check! KEN!"

"yalor,I keep forgetting, so how?"

"Go buy a longer dipstick"


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of course not, so we went out and bought two one-litre Shell semi-synthetic.

nothing good on TV? Download TopGear from torrent sites. So nice to watch, even if you cars don't excite you in anyway, it's a gooOoOOoOoOOoOOOOoooOOOoooOOOood show.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

DAm bei ulcer come back

Yes today is, erm....tu..wednesday...now counted as thursday already 2.48am...
holidays gonna be over soon, assignment due dates will come attacking right after the holidays like, mad cow, kena disease.

but it's not a disease.

yes cow's are mad, u eat them u die,
dun eat double cheese burger,
dun have ur last supper next to Judas the gospel,
don'ts be eatings beefs. They're maddings your apartment.

babi, supposed to go to Monash and return overdue book to the library, then,

DANIEL TAN CHEN LI ALL RANDOM
(WHY DANIEL TAN CHEN LI ALL RANDOM?;
coz he go and lie me that, something, that he wan kao the chick but is kao already 1
so I call him ;

DANIEL TAN CHEN LI ALL RANDOM
DANIEL TAN CHEN LI AR
DANIEL TAN CHEN LIAR
CHEN LIAR.

(FYI: I'm not a dota frikeezoid))


called me go McDees coz Don they all over there eating lunch, in the end, went to HELP library, and studied 6 pages and then go foos at Rileys.
wtf...supposed to do assignment read 6 pages only..magaychiewhu.

and HELP, NEEDS HELP.

reached there,
park car,
wait for 'bus' to send to the next block,
bus arrived, full wait for next bus,
started to drizzle,
bus came,
sat inside wait for 10 minutes,
then reach there, go library, no tables,
go back out must open bag let the guy see got steal any books or not,
use a scanner id tag machine siren thing lahhhh, like Monash/Sunway. xD.
and when finished, travelled back to the main block on a Kiddie bus,
KIDDIE BUS.
(no pics coz my camera was still missing)

For funding or donations to HELP,
please contact our financial manager,
Miss Jamie Oliver james virginia texas city oklahoma @ 012-PLSHELP

reached home at 6, flip through few pages of Hypertune.
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ZzzzZZZZzzZZ

till 12.06 AM. yes. AM...
then ate my dinner from bekas Tupperware, prawns, veggies, fish, eggs.
Because cannot sleep 3 hours after eating, so I'm here lo.
So now, 3.01 AM.
And fucking ulcer came back, the exact same spot makichuhi.

Die lah,
assignment due in 8 days,
haven't read the textbook,
haven't read the question,
Don't even have the question,
haven't planned what to do,
havent source for online journals,
die lah die lah die lah.

DRAMA THING AT TAYLOR'S COLLEGE SUBANG JAYA.

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I thinks Emily called Adrian to watch this drama thing, so he called me, and UK.
reached there at 8pm, fucking cold, like Australia/Japan/Africa.
Wait for Emily, paid RM3, and entered and we sat right in front.
First performance and I was like ;

"what the helll mannn, pay three bucks for this shits arh? I rather eat shit man, I think i can act better than them la"

then, after 6 minutes, finish already.

"WTF? what's that supposed to mean? very funny meh? HAHAHA so funny"

The next performance, called The Claypot Curse.
Oooooo fancy shmancy name, ooooo I'm impressed....Chiieeeeww.
but then....actually quite fancy wo...
performance very good wo
good acting woo
good dialogues wo,
wah then keep smiling from that time onwards,
if u saw me and didn't know what I was watching,
I'd look like I was watching some live porno.
Kimochi. Yeah baby Yamate.

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White shirt guy is the chicken rice man, his rival, bak kut teh woman,
the one in blue checkered shirt.
She's quite cute u noe....I like her.

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After that, it slowly became semi-very-the-soft-live-porn


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The guy in white is some fucking gay shit mofo mahder eater.
he receive things, act like his cibai itchy.
Rub his thighs together and put on a 'seductive' smile.
Cibai, make me steam.

Got other performances also lah but not as nice so didnt bother uploading the pics.
And it was also like a competition thing, the white shirt gay cowboy is actually one of the judge,

judging the judgemental drama judgement. He's a judge....hmm judge.
how do you pronounce it?
judge...
jahhj....
JAAAHJ
caj..
caj bil elektrik terpinda.
electric air ram charger.
CAAAAJIBAI that puki ahhh.

Best Play : The Claypot Curse.

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Best performance : The Chicken Rice man.

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WAC AGM
(Wise Auto Club Annual General Meeting)
sounds so cool and formal right?
sounds like big taikor office business man round table meeting right?
sounds like suits and coats and coffees right?

no-meh? sounds like it wat, got the meeting word there, got the Annual + General summore.
It's like meetings for generals.
Geh-NEH-RELS.

ya this meeting is to nominate and vote for the new commitee members of the club yada yada yada.
It was held inside Lien Hoe Tower, 18th floor, Meeting Room 2 : Executives only.
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yeng or not all the executives? geng mou.

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*correction : Drex Chan ; Rejected V.Presidency position. ( yah I knowings my ingren very lousies lah)


And I got my road tax sticker also, cooolness.

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These two guys are my masters/sifus/teachers/mentors/headmasters/role model/managers/BOSS.

khguan : DIY KING, mou tak ting, www.khguan.fotopic.net can learn alot from him man.

izso : ICE KING, mou tak ting, www.izso.blogspot.com , you want talk ICE? Talk to him 1st.

Overall, had fun lah over there, talk to the big guys, and had some laughs and food was good, but could be better and I'm officially a club member... Yay.

The next day,
Ahh, AGM gone, Drama gone, No need to go out, no need to spend anymore money, can concentrate on saving for my subwoofer. A Mohawk red 12" DVC in mind already.
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Yummy.

But got SMS,
Grace : Hey when are you giving me the Management textbooks? Can make it ASAP? Sorry yah.

Oh noo, damn mafan liao. the books with sue anne coz I was sick didnt go to monash that day to collect from khai shang oh no...
coz of my indiscipline now must hunt Sue Anne,

called her, she going out in thirty minutes, and won't be at home the day after that coz going for holiday with family.

"EASY LAH go out in thirty minutes just drive there and collect la"

but...

She stays in Jinjang, Kepong area.
HOW i know how to go?????
and because mrr2 is closed, it will be very very the jam, traffic, not peanut butter.
and it was raining summore, die lor.

but then,


An Angel came from the skies above,
the angel glowed as white as a fluttering dove,
his warm aura could be felt through an oven glove,
oh thank you for saving me, im in love.

WTF.

I cannot find anymore rhymes so had to use love, anyway, thanks Adrian for teman-ing me there after ur tiring day at church.
So we travelled in my Carrera GT to Jinjang just to collect three textbooks.
And thank you Sue Anne for waiting for me!
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Pipes?

Sean, Adrian, U Kwang, Kenneth(me), Albert.


Adrian's Dawg.

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Shortcut out from BU1

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HA HA.

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Then one of the days, forgot which day they came and overnight at my place, that afternoon or the afternoon before lah, Sean suggested us to make a video, or record some funny sounds, spontaneous dialogues like those from www.mrbrown.com . So this is our video

see 4urself.(Don't flame us for doing stupid things)


In the middle of the video, we were trying to speak louder to make the blue 'waves'(spectrum) go higher.
While it load, read the rest, little bit more.

Yeah, and we watched snow dogs also, nice show. Not bad, since it's from Disney, it won't suck one. Tried to cry but cannot cry and got a few kan cheong moments also, start already wow...and the dogs, makes u wanna own a Siberian Husky.

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THE OVERNIGHT NIGHT
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muahaha open already, see Sean's disappointed face.

And see Adrian's controversial happy face.

"YES FINALLY WUAHAHA"


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Sean's supper


Yes and we drank a little and head to my nearby mamak, Padang Kota, and emo talk man. yes my first TRUE emo talk with Albert and Adrian. Maybe second, but it was TRUE and SINCERE.

mmmmm.

Random pics
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Oh yeah by the way,
I was foosing some foos with UK right and he met his long time friend,
then he intro him to me,

Uk's Friend : "Hi, Marcus"
Me : "Kenneth"
Uk's Friend : "He's from the same church?"
UK : "Oh nolah classmate"

"He's from the same CHURCH Church church church church?"

FUYooooooh
I look like a christian man!
No more Lalazhing lala boy ah beng MAN!
I look Educated man!
I look religious man!
I look clever-er and smarter man!

I wanted to say, "I'm a bhuddist"
but the later he think back, "Oh, no wonder you look lala"
DIU NEI.
So lemme look Christian abit awhile.

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...


Hot Chick of the Post, long time no have already, get some major STEAM boys:

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

best one yet

.

.

yeah baby

.

.

.

Cum in your eye

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.

.

STEAM KAO MAN!






Nolah real hot chick ar,

nah,

she ROCKS !!

SUPER AWESOME !!


I WAN BE KOREAN!!


I WAN BE JAPANESE!!

Yes, do you speak korean/japanese? TEACH ME!!! I pay youuuuu.

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BoA Number one !