Thursday, May 31, 2007

Infatuation

Definition of Infatuation:

  • foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration
  • puppy love: temporary love of an adolescent
  • an object of extravagant short-lived passion

Have you ever felt when you like somebody(just infatuation), but you can’t do anything to develop it because you’re not supposed to?

And this makes you feel kinda down?...

… I have…and it sucks. It’s times like these that makes me wish I had a girlfriend (I sound so desperate)….

Because you have to fight this infatuation. or maybe because it’s just infatuation, then it’s not suppose to develop. Feels so suck. When my friends always 'emo' coz of girl problems or whatnot, I'll actually think to myself, "stupid lah, emo over a girl"...

I know many people emo over a girl...I don't know coz I've never experienced it before, in a long time.



Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Faster Mature Please!

When can I be mature? When can I be like an adult? I'm not sure if my 'philosophy' is correct but I think girls or women go for mature guys? Mature in the sense that, guys, who have humility, discipline, responsibility and such. I don't think I am mature yet, or at all. Of course in the past few weeks, I have also realized that I have been 'acting' too 'maturely'. I became very dull and boring. Speaking of humility, I cam across this term, false humility. That term or phrase and the meaning of it has never come across me before, until I saw it, and then only I realized that at times, my humility was FALSE!!

I was trying to talk to adults with humility (which almost always ends up me talking like I know everything, i.e. omniscient ( see there I go again trying to tell people I know that word)). It is good to practice humility, but when I try too hard, people just don’t feel like talking to me, or the conversation would get difficult to go on, and I have always wondered why, now I know, or I think I know, false humility. Sometimes you just have to be yourself.

When I talk to people who are very comfortable with the way they are, it’s areal delight having to talk to a person that is genuine and not just talking to your for the sake of pleasing you, which is what I believe, I have been doing, al this while. Accompanied together with a synthetic smile.

I think for now, for about getting a girlfriend, I will leave it till I become mature, or become an adult, if I ever will, or maybe that’s not even the correct way to think . Anyway we cant all be serious. My dad is a real joker sometimes, adults who joke, are DAMN FUNNY! Haha, just thinking about the TTs make me laugh. For now, I think I should just be young while I still can, and don’t look to grow up too quickly. I think many of my friends have already figured that out. I’m one of the slow ones. =P

For the friends who have not given up on me and still talk to me despite my lack of humility or sometimes false humility, I want to thank you for continuing to persevere with me, I mean it, that was not false humilityß is this statement indicating false humility? Haha, I don’t know.

On a more materialistic note, I can’t friggin wait to get my suspension done!! I want new springs and shocks, new bushes(if can PU), an anti-roll bar and hopefully new tires! ( my continental comfort have already reached the wear indicators, I won’t be changing back to them anymore, not very grippy, although very predictable, your car will feel like it’s ice-skating when driving on wet road.

I also cant wait to detail la…after seeing this car.

Image hosted by servimg.com(note, I did not detail this car, Darren Chang from AutoDetailer did, and the job does not cost RM100 or 200 or 500…costs near the range of RM3000!

I keep saying to myself.”I also can lerrrr”

One day I want to say,

my name is fishbonezken, and I am a detailer. (hah, fat chance)


mental note : this post, not really being myself. Argh....

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Hi Hi ^.^

Sleepy and tired, phoo, exams coming in about 19 days from now.

According to my schedule, I won’t have time for anything else but revision!

If only I have the discipline to do so.

A book says that it’s not people don’t have the discipline that keeps them from accomplishing something, it’s the lack of passion for the result that keeps them from doing something.

For example, like polishing, if you start the project by thinking and visualizing the flawless finish, the journey there is simple and very enjoyable.

If for studying, maybe most people would begin with the end in mind, the end being a Distinction or a High Distinction. I’m not that ambitious, I do begin with the end in mind. Not because I want to be successful, rather, the fear of being unsuccessful!

What if I can’t earn enough to give my parents the life that they give me, what if, I downgrade them to live in a smaller house, etc. etc. What if, I can even afford their medical bills! And and, they can’t get to live as long as they wished. *choi, touch wood*

But, What If?

My plan and dream has always been to work and build up enough capital for me to open my own detailing business. What if I can’t?

Fear. . . . .

Things I will be looking forward to are, two cars that I’ll be detailing thanks to Izso,

ALRIGHT!

And also…..erm…..no that’s it..

Oh and also new suspensions if I’m getting them! Yeah I know I know, I always said I’m not materialistic, I should appreciate that I’m driving a car than riding a bike, but…. Very uncomfortable lah….feeling every little tiny bumps on the road. When I drive my dad’s 2nd hand 7 year old Satria also feels like driving a luxury Mercedes S class. So anyone out there that’s driving a CAR, appreciate it. Don’t ask for more.

Ok pretty pointless post anyway, haven’t been posting any emo posts lately…

Have to get in touch with my spiritual self first.

See ya

My nigga

Bombastic, mr. fantastic.

Oh yeah I was passing my school library and saw a book with the title. The Bear Necessities, makes me feel like watching The Jungle Book

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I have been humbled by a Vios

Image hosted by servimg.com


So on the way home from school, I was using the highway about to turn in to Area 1, it is a long sweeping corner, don’t need brakes. About 100m away from the corner I see this Silver Vios zooming past, as soon as I saw it’s upgraded muffler and GT wing and a few stickers, I thought “hah, another all show and no go car, I’ll eat you at the corner”, so I started accelerating into area 1, cornered and to my little surprise, he didn’t brake, normally every car would brake before entering, one time a Proton Waja tiong me from behind so close , as soon as I turn into Area 1, he braked already and I just went along.

This time this Vios didn’t, I couldn’t catchup, despite the fact that I was flooring it at 3rd gear, no tyre screeching, so I reasoned that I didn’t have enough road to build up speed before entering. Never mind, reached the green rectangular area, which is the Toll Plaza, we both had SmartTags, fair enough, we both came out of the gate slowly, I could’ve over took him in 1st and second gear but didn’t do anything (cause he would’ve overtook me on the long straight ahead anyway), thought he wouldn’t play anymore.

BUT HE DID!

He over took an MPV from the left, I followed and damn that Vios could ACCELERATE! Our distance kept getting further and further until we reached traffic light 1.

“hehehe, this is my territory, I’m gonna eat you”

We both turned right and immediately overtook two cars from the left, area two are some loose turns without the need for braking, shit he accelerated damn fast ahead didn’t brake too, his car looks very steady with MINIMAL body roll!...my car was like flinging left and right, tyres haven’t screeched yet. Enter area three, is two sharp right turns, confirm must brake,

“hehehe, I’ll late brake you into the corner”

He late braked as well, better brakes too! Mine are Heavy Duty ones, last longer but doesn’t stop the car as good, I understeered through the two corners, I didn’t hear any sound coming from his tyres, this time abit closer to him. Then entered area 4. This time I didn’t underestimate him at all.

Area 4 is a medium curved left turn, but is downward sloping, so grip would be very much lesser, if you played Laguna Seca, it’s like going down the corkscrew, but not so steep la.

Area 4, I understeered the crap out of that corner, my steering angle was super to the left already and summore cut out to the next lane i.e, NO GRIP!, his car, didn’t notice any understeering, he exited the corner quick and then smoked me on the straight to the next traffic light, I had to U-turn back to my house, and he went straight. I was clapping and smiling in the car, wah geng, and wouldn’t mind having another go with him!!!!!

That was FUN!!

Btw, both my rear absorbers are dead, only supporting my car’s weight through the springs, front are almost dead.

I want change suspension(GAB)!!! RM1000

I want anti-roll bar!!! Less than RM200

I want strut bar!!! Less than RM200

I want lower profile tyres and rims!!! RM1000?

I have been humbled

Monday, May 21, 2007

Procrastination is bad, period.

It's not only bad for what you're doing as in, like ur doing assignment, procrastinate all the way until the end, procrastinating won't let you do a proper job coz u'r rushing it.

That's not all there is to it, I got an assignment due at 4pm today, went to school and do, skipped tutorial, came home to do, but ended up procrastinating reading detailing forums. Procrastinated for about an hour then only i calculated the time I had left to do my assignment. It's 12.30pm, I have to pick up my bro, send him to lunch at a abit fancy cafe, send my sis home send bro to tuition, send grandmother to office. Then only I realized, I have no more time.

So I upset my granma abit coz i can't fetch, she pack everything ready to go already then im like..aiyor...useless. Then she follow us to lunch that time already no time. Ask my bro if can dun eat there anot, being my youngest and most pampered, *slightly*(actually very) spoiled bro, he would show his temper and then say duwun, cannot compromise with him, so ask him faster order and eat, then while he's eating im like rushing rushing, then he say back, why you don't do yesterday.

This phrase reminds me when I sometimes say to my sis or bro, that they themselves procrastinate, now I'm doing it, at a very bad level. Then call my mum, ask her if can fetch my bro to tuition or not, to buy me more time. So I had one hour to type and draw whatever I written on paper onto the PC and attempt the last subection of a question.

So far let's recall, got on grandma's bad side, brother's bad side and troubled my mum.

then I finished at 4.05pm (due at 4.30pm) and then deja vu all over again, driving air con off, pedal to the metal, late braking and understeering into and out of every corners, braking to a screeching stop at the toll for touch n' go. Very stressful, but also fun. And that's about RM20 worth of petrol gone.

Reach school with sweaty shirt and sweaty armpits, run up to the third floor and pant like a dog checking for last minute details. And then slip it in the assignment box.

Procrastinating, hazardous for you, and those around you.
Irresponsibiliy...
Lack of discipline...
Me...
Shit.