Sunday, October 28, 2007

Overwhelmed

Lately, a few things have made me feel overwhelmed. *I am not myself in this post*

1. My detailing blog has brought me a bit of attention, there have been a few people messaging me in forums, a few e-mailing me, a few sms-ing me to request for my detailing services. I am grateful for that but most of the time feel insecure for bringing total strangers to where I live, also for the noise my machine makes , disturbs the neighbours. Well they haven't really complained, and when I asked them if it was noisy or not, they said it was okay, continue the work. Means they did not say it was not noisy, they just trying to be nice and friendly neighbours. Huge respect for them and the family for their tolerance. I feel overwhelmed by the detailing requests and I have to arrange the dates for each of them (less than ten requests) but that time I will be taking my summer classes for a subject I failed(re-taking), so a bit overwhelmed with the studying and the detailing, but excited for trying to get myself to be a perfectionist at the same time. Also trying to redeem myself from missing a few 'spots' on my latest Subaru detail.

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A dream car


2. My final exams, starts on tuesday and I have been majorly slacking throughout my whole semester, So I'm trying to cover 13 weeks of stuff over the course of a few days. Well I had a month before this and I have been procrastinating, I was persistent a few days back when I unlpugged my computer in my room, but now plugged it back to contact a few of my potential customers and have been procrastinating through youtube and detailing forums(do not blame this on your customers Kenneth! when will you learn to take 100% responsibility of your life?)

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Hot chocolate makes a good study companion

3. I plan to do my Masters course in Monash Australia after I graduate with my degree, I got highly motivated after talking to Zey and his experience of doing his Masters in UK. Then I told my dad and mom about my plans, and they supported me. Which made me happy and motivated me to do well in my upcoming exam. But when I told the plan to my no-nonsense-face-the-reality grandfather, ... "Got so much money ah?"
So i told him the fees is AUD24,200 and cost of living is probably AUD 50,000 and then I said exchange rate is AUD 1 =RM 2 (My ignorance being a finance student), "EXCUSE ME, the exchange rate is now 3.4!" (which is actually 3.03 yesterday when I checked at www.x-rates.com).
So this morning while I was sleeping he left me a note of his calculation for cost of living in Australia, which i can hardly decipher.

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He writes perfectly when he writes a cheque, but not now

I think it is 25 AUD for food times 31 days. Rental is AUD 400 per week x 4 = AUD 1600 per month + I think it looks like bills = AUD 2000 total. and student earnings while working on saturday and sunday. 2 weekends, 14 hours per week for 20 hours...wait....i can't read his hand writing, at the end it's supposed to be me earning AUD 196 per week.

So expenses per month are

Food - RM 2348.25
Rental - RM6,060
less working 4 weekends - (RM2375.52)
-------------------------------------------
Total Expenses : RM 6032.73 x 18 months (the course is 1.5 years)

= RM 108,589.14 + course fee( AUD24,200 x 3.03)
= RM 181,915.14.
-------------------------------------------

Total expense for doing a masters course in Monash Australia is RM 181,915.14

and when my materialistic side kicks in...I could almost be driving a brand new Subaru Impreza WRX! (which costs RM185,704.80) I would give anything to drive a better car than my Wira right now. My wira with 13 inch wheels which understeers like crap and slides around on wet road like ice skates on ice, a body which rolls around in corners which makes you think if you are sitting in a boat than a car, water that drips down on hot days in the passenger foot area because of the air-con, paint that is so thin you could see the old paint under the new paint and metal showing on the edges of some panels due to my over-polishing, front bumper falling off, headlamps with fungus growing in it, the list goes on. ( Kenneth, appreciate that your parents can afford to give you a car to drive )

4. Grey's anatomy, I look forward to watch an episode or two while I have my lunch, procrastinating... But it's so hard to resist, I love this show, it's smart and it moves you the way it wants to. There was one episode which made me tear. I'm not gay, the word is emotional. Right now nothing beats an afternoon of lunch and Grey's anatomy.

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Maid's fish porridge


5. I was looking through my safe box the other day and found my old Ragnarok Online credit cards.

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Lots of money wasted here


Boy, those were the days, in form 5, I was so into the game because you get to play a character and there are males and females in the game. I remembered when the game was in beta and it was free, and I was an archer, and I was talking/flirting with this cute archer girl on cliffs of Payon overlooking the sea or lake below, I was in love with her, well her character anyway. Then when my friends started playing it, we would talk about it during recess or when we meet up. At one time we also argued over the game because I started 'botting'. Botting is when you use an illegal program which helps you play your character, so you don't have to do the tedious killing monsters to hunt for rare items or level up. So they were mad at me and I think we didn't talk for sometime because I was 'cheating' And after a few days-weeks. They friggin started botting too, which kinda angered me since they were dissing about me botting and now they were botting. But we were young (not that we are not now, just younger than now), and we probably weren't the most mature people, ok maybe they were and I am the one who is not. Anyway we've grown I guess and we're cool although they think I'm gay. ....those fuckers... ^^v

6. I was sending my neighbour home one day, and our topic turned to gfs and bfs...or something. I was making a statement that good girls don't like good guys and she said I was wrong. I kept saying I was right, probably because I think I am a good guy and nobody likes me. And she says how do you know if nobody likes you? maybe they do but they don't tell you. So I said nobody'll like me, or at least I can't imagine that to be, which was veerrry negative of me ( I know you are thinking I am insecure now for thinking like this). So I asked "Am I a good guy?", she said "yes", knowing that she's a good girl, my mind was asking "Do you like me?" hahahaha.
But I couldn't say that obviously because we didn't like each other, or at least I know she doesn't, I probably infatuate her at times, but that's about it. *hope she doesn't read this* **if you do, I'd like you to know that you're very cute** (dude, "you got issues", to quote my sister)
So I told this to another friend of mine who also said good girls DO like good guys, which set me straight as I know her bf, which was totally(bimbos like to use this on TV right) a good guy. So I guess good girls DO like good guys. I like bimbos with a slim body and long straight hair. *to good girls out there reading this, if any : I could like you too, even if you don't have a slim body and long straight hair*.

7. I was a bit angry at my grandmother yesterday and this morning because she kept asking me to fetch her around to do this and that. I was angry because she doesn't plan this and asks people who HAS plans to do stuff spontaneously. I was frustrated, so I slept in the afternoon yesterday till this morning. And this morning when she left a cup of one of her brews/concoctions in my room, I was angry because she always makes these stuff and always asks/force me to drink them. I put it outside my room and left it there. Being frustrated with her, I quickly bath and packed my study stuff and headed for my University to use their library(they are open on Sundays), when I reached there, the parking lot was empty so made a U-turn and head home, didn't want people to think I am weird for being the only one to study there(insecurity). While driving fast with Sum41 blasting reasonably loud to let go of my angst, I was shuffling in and out of traffic to get ahead of the slow cars, at one time I came out almost too near to a Toyota Vios behind me, I think he horned, but not sure with all the emotions and thoughts go through my mind. Then I felt sorry, that I made that mistake. And also for the mistake that I got angry over my grandmother for not accepting the way she is. So I bought some McD breakfast and went home, also felt sorry on they way because my selfishness didn't ask me to buy some McD breakfast for my bro and sis as they would much prefer them over chinese food for breakfast. When I went home, I saw the right of my grandmother's eye was dark-red dark-blue (not blue-black) because the mirror of a lorry hit her. Karma was wrong, it was supposed to hit me and not her because she didn't make any mistakes, I did. Her eyesight is deteriorating, but thankfully, karma also knows that it was too soon for her to lose her eyesight and the mirror of the lorry didn't hit her eye. Sorry mama.


Procrastinating...

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"I have a clear line of fire! Give me the shot! Give me the shot!


"Execute"



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"Shot fired. Target hit"

6 comments:

izso said...

Dude, I don't know what Zey said to you but if you want to do the Monash cert, it's the same if you do it in KL. The resulting certificate you get from KL or Aust is the same thing. So it'll be cheaper to do it in KL, except the experience is obviously different and living alone isn't something easy to do. You'll have to worry about break-ins, security, food, cooking, house mates, etc.

But the experience is a totally different thing lor. If your parents have the money, it's a worthwhile investment, but if you're just looking for the certification, KL is the place to do it.

Btw, being a masters student myself, I can tell you this. If you hate research, you'll hate masters. When I say research, think degree research then times it by 10. It's a bloody nuisance.

As for the whole anger thing, don't diss yourself too much. Sometimes you gotta see a different perspective because the minute you limit your perspective, hindsight will only make you wish you had done things differently. You don't have to see the positive side of things, but it helps to see a different aspect of the situation. Like the sonnobitch who drove like a fucking moron today (see my blog) - the probable reason for his imbecile behaviour is he was fucking his mistress and rushed home to his wife after she called to find out where she was. Afterall it was 5am.

And those drinks, you should take them. For all you know it might boost your size. My friend grew only after he started a daily dosage of beef and a carton of milk every two days.

izso said...

And that was when he was 21 btw.

izso said...

Oh hey, when u have the time u probably could do a mini picture book or something XD

And get your ass in gear man. I need you to be prepared for your exams so I can have your help on the car details! Hehe

khi said...

mmm why don't you get a better budget from Shengwei/lichen/muizz/hari/yenshan/xuefang and the other kids in aussie?

naz said...

daily dosage of beef and milk? better try it out, u dont want to end up my size and be bullied by people like izso

Kenneth Tang a.k.a Fishbonezken said...

izso,
actually not much of what Zey said but more of what I spectate, or something, if that means anything, haha. Cooking myself sounds fun
Yes I quite DISLIKE(almost hate) research....
wow daily dosage of beef???? I thought don't eat so much red meat...hmmm
My ass IS in gear ! well almost.. partially...

khi,
oh yeah, so duhhh of me...my introvert side didn't thought of that. and haven't spoke to them for quite some time!

naz,
kecil-kecil cili padi, hehehe. we won't get bullied by izso, united we stand, hahaha.