Thursday, May 29, 2008

Another flaw

another flaw that I've discovered about myself recently is pride. Maybe I am not egoistic, and the proper word is pride, and I have lots of it, the actions I do the thoughts in my mind. I keep performing actions that will make me look impressive/superior. I recently realized this after taking a tibetan personality test. Here you can do it too. The instructions are in italics

Take your time with this test and you will be amazed

Just 4 questions and the answers will surprise you


Be honest and don't cheat by looking up the answers.

The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened.

This is fun to do but you have to follow the instructions very closely

Do not Cheat!

Make A WISH!! before you begin your test.

There are only 4 questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results.

Go down slowly, and complete each exercise as you scroll down

Don't look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along

You will need it at the end. This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you alot abut your true self.

Give an answer for each item. The first thing that comes to mind is usually your best answer.

Remember, no one sees this but you.

(1) Put the 5 following animals in the order of your preference:

Cow, Tiger, Sheep, Horse, Pig

(2) Write one word that describes each of the following:

Dog, Cat, Rat, Sea, Coffee

(3) Think of someone, who also knows you, which you can relate them to the following colours. Do NOT repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each colour:

Yellow, Orange, Red, White, Green

(4) Finally, write down your favourite number, and your favourite day of the week.

Finished? Please be sure that your answers are what you REALLY WANT.

Look at the interpretations below:
but first before continuing, repeat your wish!


(1) This will define your priorities in your life

Cow signifies CAREER

Tiger signifies PRIDE

Sheep signifies LOVE

Horse signifies FAMILY

Pig signifies MONEY


Your description of dog implies your own personality.

Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner.

Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies.

Your description of coffee is how you interpret sex.

Your description of the sea implies your own life.


Yellow: Someone you will never forget

Orange: someone you consider your true friend

Red: Someone that you really love

White: Your twin soul

Green: Someone that you will remember for the rest of your life


You have to send this message to as many persons as your favourite number and your wish will come true on the day that you recorded.
This is what Dalai Lama has said about the Millenium - just take a few seconds! to look it up, read it and think.

Do not put away this message, the mantra will come out of your hands in the next 96 hours. You will have a pleasant surprise.

And then the rest is to ask you to forward this e-mail to other people and your life will improve. I think that part is bollocks but 1-3 is quite interesting. So what did you get?

For number one I listed sheep, tiger, horse cow, pig. So my priorities in order are

Love, Pride, Family, Career, Money.

see, the bad one in this thing is the tiger, pride, and it's my number two priority! ranking ahead of career and money!

For the second question.

Dog - Friendly
Cat - Cute
Rat - Smelly
Coffee - Fake
Sea - Calm

I agree with all because I will like a cute girl, and my enemies, well don't know if they are smelly and my life is calm. But fake sex?? haha how can i have fake sex? the first word I thought was alert, but changed to fake.

The third question is quite weird also for Red, the person I really love I put my grandfather, I associate him because I associate red with anger, thus my grandfather, but then the meaning is like opposite -.-;

yeah so I was saying that my flaw is pride, I think I have pride because when I was young I use to get criticized alot, for my height, for my timidness, so I felt very inferior, and now whenever I have the chance I will do something that will make me proud in people's eyes that are looking at me (or so I thought). I'm not egoistic, I'm proud, very very proud. Like when I drive also, I will try to drive 'yeng'/cool a bit so my passengers can be 'impressed'. And sometimes when argue with my younger brother I don't even bother correcting him and teaching cause I don't want to look like the wrong one or like I'm lowering myself for him. See how high I want my head to be.

Now I need to figure out how to get rid of pride.

"He who knows doesn't say,
He who says doesn't know"

I belong to the latter.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

stopping arhat month

yeah so now you can think I'm scum because I've given up. hahaha

I've been doing it wrong because I forgot about the four stages of enlightenment.

words in italic are not my own words.

The first stage is to be a Stream-Winner, where at this stage, his insight is powerful enough to remove the first three fetters, namely:
(1) The belief in the existence of a permanent self;
(2) doubt in the ability of the Triple Gem (the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha); and
(3) The mistaken belief that moral rules and ascetic rites alone are sufficient to lead a person to Enlightenment.

from wikipedia;
Asceticism (Greek: ask─ôsis) describes a life-style characterized by abstinence from various sorts of worldly pleasures such as maintaining power (especially sexual activity and consumption of alcohol) often with the aim of pursuing religious and spiritual goals.

A stream-winner, who is at the first stage of the noble path, is not yet free from craving1, ill-will, hatred, ignorance and conceit. However, unwholesome inclinations are not strong enough to lead him or her to kill, steal, or do other immoral deeds. A stream winner is mindful, and mindfulness keeps him or her on guard. The Buddha says, "A stream-winner avoids doing misdeeds that lead him to the lower worlds. Therefore he or she no longer takes life." So you should have confidence in the Buddha and meditate seriously.
When you have made some progress in meditation, you discover what mindfulness means. At the sight of a desirable object, you crave for it, and in the face of something offensive you become averse to it. You are not yet free from these unwholesome emotions, but mindfulness stands you in good stead and helps to restrain them. They lose their power and wither away. They are not out of control, as is the case with most people. They are not strong enough to make a stream-winner do evil.

1 I can watch Grey's anatomy! haha

I still have the first fetter and have to gain more knowledge that. The second, obviously is removed. The third, slowly removing.

The second stage is the Once-Returner. One who reaches this stage has succeeded in weakening the fourth and fifth fetters. These are:

(4) attachment to sensual desire; and
(5) ill will

The third stage is the Non-Returner where he COMPLETELY removes the fourth and fifth fetters.

At the fourth stage, he makes the final advance towards becoming an Arhat (a Perfecte One) who attains Nirvana because he has broken all the ten fetters, the last five which are:

(6) desire for existence in the worlds of Form;
(7) desire for existence in the Formless words;
(8) conceit;
(9) restlessness: and
(10) ignorance.

Here's an interesting bit.

You may ask what kind of rebirth will take place for the stream winner, the Once-Returner, the Non-Returner and the Arhat?
When a Stream-Winner passed away, he will no longer be reborn in any of the lower realms of existence. He will be reborn in the human or heavenly realms only. It will take him no more than seven rebirths before he attains Nirvana.
When a Once-Returner passed away, he will be reborn only once more as a human being. In that rebirth he would attain Nirvana,
When a Non-Returner passed away, he will no longer be reborn in the human realm; he will be reborn in one of the Pure Abodes in heaven when he will attain Nirvana.
An arhat who has attained Nirvana will not be reborn.

In this life I'm quite sure I can be a Stream-Winner, but a Once-Returner, will probably take lots of meditation, to remove my horni-ness.

Another thing that constantly arises my mind are that when I hear someone is a Christian I look down on them. which is WRONG and should show them compassion like anyone else.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Infatuation vs love.

I've been reading most of the articles on the first page after a Google search; infatuation vs love.

I realize that I think of all the people I thought I liked, are mere infatuations.
Here's a short table summarizing the facts.


So yeah, guess I'm still waiting... for that someone, for me to love.

btw Arhat month, is tough. I've given in yesterday, I was so frustrated because I didn't have time to study the whole day with my mum, dad, grandmother calling me and my brother and sister calling me to fetch them around...being the eldest brother is not a responsibility. It's an effing full time job.
I got so frustrated that I didn't even bother meditating and gave in to my sensual desires, and watched 2.5 hours of American Idol, the finale and the results show.
Back to meditating by tonight hopefully.

" A Buddha does not pay attention to the beauty of his clothes, the comfort of His bed, or the taste of his food. He does not pay heed to sense pleasures."

Sunday, May 18, 2008

too extreme?

Since Arhat week, I have been slacking 'majorly'.
I have been bad tempered and haven't been controlling my mind.
I have been indulging myself in all the music and videos I can see and listen.
*American Idol!*

Tomorrow is Wesak day.
Tonight I will be sleeping on a mattress on the floor and tomorrow is an early breakfast and meditation from 9.00 am to 6.00 pm
Can I do it?

and then, well this is a spontaneous decision but I think I need it with my exams starting on June 6.

Arhat MONTH!
4 weeks straight

"You think I'm scum?!"

Let's see if I can control myself.

As again, no music, no videos, no satisfying my sensual pleasures and desires.
No detailing forum surfing.

Daily meditation

Minimal or no procrastination.

damn I have to give up American Idol and Grey's anatomy for this.

Too extreme? maybe, but for an unfocused, unconcentrated, procrastinating, undisciplined guy like me. Too extreme may not even be enough.

and something I thought about this afternoon, am I a guy?

1) I watch American Idol, I teared when David Archuleta cried on the top 3 results show.
2) I watch Grey's anatomy
3) I don't like clubbing
4) I don't drink or smoke
5) I'm not aggressive (besides driving)
6) I care too much about other people's feelings(well sometimes, or is it just to please them. I found out many people are annoyed by this because they find it fake.)
7) I'm naive

or is it just because I am fake. I try to please people too much sometimes, maybe most of the time.

Arhat month begins tomorrow

19/May/2008 and ends on 19/June/2008
My semester exam begins on 6/June/2008 and ends on 20/June/2008.

Weekly reports to follow.
Let the way of the arhat begin.

LOL I found something funny too because while typing this post the word arhat is underlined in a wavy red line, and as you know, this mean it's not in the Microsoft dictionary

Then I typed the word jesus, appeared in a red wavy line and I right clicked to see if the correct word is jesus (with a capital J), but there's only jess and jests.


Then I typed the word buddha, also underlined in a red wavy line. But when I right clicked, there is the word Buddha with a capital B.


Then I thought "that's weird". So I googled Bill Gates' religion and found out that he's an aethist! LoL it's probably not on purpose but what a coincidence haha.

ATTENTION: NOT INTENDING to put down any religion or teaching here! so don't get all sensitive on me for my shallow mind alright. THANK YOU

Sunday, May 04, 2008

1st video blog?

Warning. Don't watch this if religion is a sensitive issue to you.