Thursday, June 26, 2008

My (shallow) theory on the popularity of Christianity and how I lose friends.

Here’s why I think why Christianity is so popular.

There’s some statistics showing that 33% of the world’s population are Christians and only 5% and Buddhists.

You know why?

It’s the music.

Would you rather sing and praise the lord or sit and chant/meditate?

Christians have rock bands (e.g. the Planetshakers) that attracts thousands of youth.

What do Buddhists have? A venerable one that teaches you the proper way to sit, breath and meditate

Obviously the youth will prefer to rock out to wonderful music!

Why Buddhists don’t have such things? Well it will be a contrast to what the Buddha teaches, to release oneself from sensual pleasures, and ultimately, released from any desires.

This is just my shallow theory.

And let me let you in on why I don’t have close friends, and how I don’t get very close to any friend in the first place.

*arranged in chronological order*

Step 1: I get to know you, I talk to you, ask you stuff, I respect your views, I think you’re so funny and smart. I like you J

Step 2: As I get to know you, my uber-critical nature identify your flaws and register them in my head under your name. This fellar has so and so flaws that I don’t like (my selfishness), and that person has so and so.

Step 3: The next time I meet you, I take you for granted, I belittle you in my mind, I look down upon you. What we think in our mind reflect ourselves. Even though I don’t let you know that, but my attitude towards you tells you.

Step 4: You realize, hey this dude here has no respect for me, he thinks I’m insignificant, why am I even spending my time with him?

Step 5: Then that person I just knew looks for his other friends. Usually he/she may call me to go out for a drink in the beginning, because I often say I’m busy or give excuses, they stop calling. Because my mind will go, why go out with them, when they are of no benefit to me. See my evilness? But if they have no flaws, then my mind will turn jealous, ahh, this fellar, is so happy always and so positive always, why go with them and feel intimidated and inferior, I better stay at home and correct the people who make wrong statements on the internet to feed my ego and pride.

Step 6: Distance grow between us. Then I start to feel lonely, and then after a long time of loneliness and desperation, I start to miss you. Then when I meet you again, I’m all nice and funny to you again. And then my mind tells me I’m wasting my time and effort because I think you’re insignificant. And the vicious cycle begins.

Step 7: What could be a meaningful relationship in the end is often destroyed and my chances are lost. It’s easier to lose trust than to gain one.

This explains why I have no best friends, or close friends. This explains why my relationships with people are short, and often time’s people think I’m insincere or fake. And distance grows.

That’s also why I always wonder how do people treat everyone they know without discrimination, you know, they don’t talk bad stuff about others and are always positive, looking at the bright side of things. I wish I could be like that.

So if you think you are one of them people in my vicious cycle, I deeply and sincerely apologize to you. I try to change. I respect all of you really, but I’m very critical, negative, sensitive and gets jealous easily.

So I’m sorry if you think you’re insignificant in my life. You’re not! This applies to mr.anonymous, I wouldn’t be humbled without him (or her? O.o)

12 comments:

footiam said...

Ken- forget about the figures and the music. Let's talk about you. Me think you are growing up normally. You are young and have lots of raging emotions. Some people grow up to be just as angry until a ripe old age which is a tragedy; some mellow with age and learn to be less critical; especially when one find a soul mate; a wife who is a friend for instance who is a tonic to soothe the nerve; or simply this- you find yourself. When a person finds himself, he is less likely to go out looking for a friend; a really, really good one; which is really, really very difficult to find which again is not totally impossible. Really, really good friends have to be earned, Ken and the price doesn't come cheap. You need to invest time and thoughts.I believe if you find yourself, you will find a really, really, good friend inside you. Look within and you'll find the one who understand you most, who shares your liking, you idiosyncrasies etc etc and who wish you the best is none other than you yourself! It's hard to know others; you may respect other people, their views etc etc; but you are only human and respect sometimes turns to detest especially when you are fed new, detestable information. Good food rots if left unattended; just like relationship; both with family members and friends. In case, you have not find a friend now or ever; then build yourself an island!A man is strong enough to stand alone if he so chooses but since we are living in a world full of people; that doesn't seem to be a wise choice. Anyway, I see you mention that nameless pussy in skirt. I think it should be a him and maybe, he may even be in your circle of friends in campus- Jesus knows! The fact that you acknowledge his significance tells a lot about you, Ken. You care about people around you; just that you don't admit it; most probably it hurts to care and be rejected. Well,here I am speculating of course, but you'll find yourself yet! It's actually nice to have that pussy around really and I kinda of enjoy his comments. Oops- no more gossiping. Cheerio!

Dr. Tan said...

Even I don't see you much I still hearts you, dude.

izso said...

LOL. I like the comments above.

And dude, I'd really like to hear what you honestly think of me since we've met and all that. No hard feelings.

Like what footiam said - you got things you either don't want to admit or you are not look at the positive side of things.

We be your friends man. Come lets go have a beer. Or Coffee. Whichever way you swing. LOL!

Anonymous said...

AH kenneth!
Let me explain a little history about the bible.
There are many books that combine to become the bible. i.e. book of job, esther, john, etc etc. And they are some books that aren't put into the bible, book of Enoch, and more recently discovered the book of Jacob. What cause some books to be included and some not to? is still a mystery to me. The bible does not contain lucifer's rebellion but its contain in other scriptures. Maybe that's why there are so many questions about how and why. And yes God did create the world in 6days and on the last day he rest. But honestly we can't take everything literally. God's one day might equal to a millennium. So maybe on the 4 or 5 day he was creating earth, there was dinosaurs. Just like how we all know that Jesus wasn't born on 20th of December. He was probably born somewhere in March to May. December is just a time us mortals choose to remember him. The bible should be read in context and not be interpreted literally.
And no, you can't be just be forgiven and given a safeway to haven just cause you accept christ, there is so much more to it. And, honestly i dont believe that just cause you're of another religion you are automatically condemn to hell. Like i say, everything in the bible should not be taken literally.
Well, if you're really interested in learning about it and have any questions, just ask me. I'll do my best to explain. Cheers Kenneth!

-Jian-

Kenneth Tang a.k.a Fishbonezken said...

sorry i took so long to reply guys,

footiam,

"some mellow with age and learn to be less critical; especially when one find a soul mate; a wife who is a friend for instance who is a tonic to soothe the nerve"

man, that is what I want... if only I could time travel to that situation and live from there.

"or simply this- you find yourself"

hmmm now I find myself to be a pessimistic, conservative, risk averse, envious person. so probably dno't want to find that in me... but I just bought a book by the Dalai Lama, it's about finding oneself too. will let you know after reading it.

"You care about people around you; just that you don't admit it; most probably it hurts to care and be rejected."

does anyone does this in our society nowadays? I don't know. My grandparents don't, my parents maybe a little. So I always thought nobody(in this country anyway) shows that. pride? ego?

dr.tan,
I hearts you too dude *haha sounds gay*

izso,

"Like what footiam said - you got things you either don't want to admit or you are not look at the positive side of things."

I think I probably have both.

and what I think about you is. let me put it this way, almost everybody I know goes through my vicious cycle, but you and a few others are the ones that I learned to accept. so you're very cool to me man, and I belong to the camp that likes you because of your expressiveness. Not the camp that don't like you because of it (for e.g. last WAC AGM at pit stop cafe, u weren't there, airfilter were saying stuff about you, yeah that instance I didn't agree with him) :)

Jian,
hey, I'm not a pro on the bible but the seminar I attended somehow proved that the 6 days meant in the bible are six literal 24-hour days. *shrugs*

"And no, you can't be just be forgiven and given a safeway to haven just cause you accept christ, there is so much more to it. And, honestly i dont believe that just cause you're of another religion you are automatically condemn to hell. Like i say, everything in the bible should not be taken literally."

I have to agree with this but seems like many people interpret this wrongly? I know of two late elderly folks who switched from being a Buddhist to accepting Christ shortly before they passed away.
Thanks for the answers bro, you're always there to lend a helping hand.

footiam said...

Ken- you're probably journeying towards that mellow situation but then again- you won't come to that destination, not if you have so high hopes; so much yearnings,too. But fret not; that's beside the point. Sometimes, it's not the destination that matters; it's the journey. I sincerely believe that you are a nicer person than you described but since you say you are that,pessimistic, envious, risk averse (whatever that means) etc etc, then, most probably you are all that. Who knows you better than you yourself? But then, if you know you have all these negative qualities, that doesn't mean you can't get rid of them and cultivate good qualities instead. Walk the path; put meanings into your life. And if you don't want to know yourself since you suspect all those negative qualities are in you, then most probably people around you do not wish to find out about you too. So, there is no room for complaints; esp. about others . And of course, there are people who care in this world. It's just that you don't come across such people and even if you did, you probably would not notice; that is esp. if you are not alert and too preoccupied with yourself. It islso very important to most of us that our immediate family cares; grandpa, grandma, mom and dad, brothers and sisters included and it hurts when they don't. And when they don't,well, it is not the end of the word. Sometimes, it is inadvisable to have such a one track mind. Sometimes, one has to think out of the box. If grandpa, grandma, dad and mom, no one in this world cares at all; then you create one. You care! Create a conducive environment for caring. Maybe, you will fail but you will be the lotus that emerges from the mud.In world full of shit; its sight is a delight.

Kenneth Tang a.k.a Fishbonezken said...

footiam,
hahaha not only can you make a joke at the end, you can also rhyme! I bow to you. a risk averse person is the opposite of a risk taker, lol @ whatever that means.
by the way. i'm not sure if this is a confidential question to ask, if it is then don't answer it..but...approximately how old are you?
there's a lot of wisdom in you, sir.

footiam said...

Ken- it should be ok that you are risk averse. A better word for it would be- careful. That's a virtue. You have heard this before,I am sure, you can either have a half full glass or a half empty glass. Risk averse is empty; careful is full. About age- someone sent me something a long time ago about it: when you are a boy, he said you can't help but add a year to your real age to show the world that you are all grown up. When people ask a ten year old boy his age, for e.g. , he would say he is eleven. There is a stage when you start to deduct a year from it; well, I am at that stage. Sensitive time, I suppose. I still can't accept I am aging , ha ha. When I start wearing spectacles, the doctor said that that's the age when one needs reading glasses. I didn't believe him and thought it was just the heat and computer. Now, I am slowly accepting that fact but when people ask me my age, I return to that denial stage. But there is a plus point really, many people say I don't look my age and when they say I am thirty plus, I felt offended ha! Ha!even though that was suppose to be a compliment, you know. I told my nephew that his friends were rude because they call me uncle. I prefer to be call by name. Otherwise, they can go as far as brother.Let's just say this, I am old enough to have you as the eldest or second son or third son but not old enough to be your grandpa. That's just the physical part. Mentally, we are more or less the same age. I really don't mind your asking me my age. I can answer that too but put it in black and white. I think about it, ok.I am feeling pretty vain today.

yapster said...

Kenneth,
Yes we sing songs. But they’re songs of praise, songs with meaning most importantly. Not just another rock concert. Do correct me if I’m wrong, but if I’m getting the right idea, you mean to say that the ultimate level is to be totally unable feel any desires you were born with? Why shut yourself away from all the joy and pleasures (and that I mean healthy pleasures not hamsap pleasures ok -_-“) that God has given you? That for me is sad and tragic. (if I got the concept right in the first place) CHeh...so I’m in step what????huh???No wonder so “busy” la… LOL… jk la... No man is an island. Well most men aren’t islands. And the fact that you wrote this post shows that too. You should learn to open up to people you can trust. Real friends, not acquaintances. People whom are thoughtful and really care about how you feel. That’s when you’ll feel the true joy of friendship. It’s never too late to try, you’re still alive.. we shud go yumcha sometime soon.. :)

Jian,
I really really beg to differ. I may not be a pastor but I certainly know a thing or two about the Bible. Did you know it is very wrong to misquote the bible? It clearly says in
John 14:6
“Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

So YES, we are saved by grace and grace alone, not by our works. Unless you have another heaven that you’re not telling us about?

What I know is some of these “books” are not included in the bible because they’re believed to be counterparts or fakes. How do they check? In short, they’re not canonistic in nature which simply means they’re not in line with the bible. Hence “sesat” books.

I don’t have the best answer for you about Lucifer. You have to read the bible and interpret it to know the full story. One short passage was written about him in Isaiah 14:12-15. What I found is that Lucifer means brightness and hence he was referred to as “morning star” in Isaiah.

If you don’t believe that believe that just cause you're of another religion you are automatically condemn to hell then one of us is very very wrong. Please ask any Christian you know just to be sure. If it’s that easy, why bother becoming a Christian?

izso said...

Ok we should lay off the religion topic. It's getting to a point where a Christian is questioning another Christian. LOL

Footiam : woops. I asked ur age in the latest comment.

Kenneth : Accept me? Gawsh, dunno what to say! LOL. And yeah I kwow about airfilter and his lack of erm.... smarts. But I don't care about that.

Kenneth Tang a.k.a Fishbonezken said...

izso,
hehe don't worry. Yapster, Jian and I were all in the same pre-u class for a year, so we're cool with each other :)

footiam,
yes I get what you mean, I think I'm in the middle of the two stages you mentioned hehe. but mentally we are more of less the same age, nah can't be... *not trying to be pessimistic* but I'm most probably not as wise as you. I always wanted to know if there was such a thing as 'young and wise'. Old people are definitely wiser but to be young and wise, not sure.

yapster,
hey dude! this is the first reply of yours that I'm reading. Thanks for taking your time. haha about the vicious cycle step...like I said everyone I know has been in these cycles...even girls ...so sorry if I've offended you.
about getting rid of desires yes, well that's Buddha's teachings, in order to gain enlightment and to end the suffering of rebirths, one has to fully let go of any worldly desires, amongst many other things. I guess this is one thing that differs the Buddhism and Christianity, amongst other things. I view it to be true, but I accept that you view it to be wrong. Buddhists don't believe in a creator god remember.

About opening to people that I trust an d experiencing true friendship, well that's just my own bad attitude. Too much pride and ego, pushed them away.

erm I didn't really understood this "If you don’t believe that believe that just cause you're of another religion you are automatically condemn to hell then one of us is very very wrong."

so means if we're not Christians we're absolutely going to hell?

Thanks Daniel

footiam said...

Hah! izso; what woops? You have sinned and you better repent if you do not want to end up in Hell! Now, are you scared or not?

Ken- If there is rebirth; maybe then it is possible that someone young is wise too because a young person may then be a few centuries old! If you don't believe in rebirth, well a young person can still be wise; why not; young people sometimes go through much suffering too; sometimes; read and think a lot. On the other hand, an old man is not necessarily wise. Just look around. Some old man deserve a kick on the butt like some University graduates too; since too often to speak through their butt.Old people should however be respected, not just because they are old and supposedly more experienced; but we respect and protect them now that they are weak. A young man wise or not; like any other wise man should be humble too since we don't know when a car is going to knock us down and make a mess of our grey matter. Just live, Ken-, someone must have told you that why not enjoy the joys provided by God. Yes, just go fuck!