Tuesday, July 01, 2008

ok ok no more pessimism

I shall try!

These past few days I've been filling my mind heavily with self-doubt,
I can't do this I can't do that.

Just today I was walking to the car park in 1 Utama, and there's this tall skinny guy, who doesn't look very macho or guy-ish, but beside him is this extreeeeeeeeeemely hot girl, with the perfect body, perfect hair and perfect face, well to me anyway.

And I can't stop thinking what does he have that I don't.
Well he's probably a very optimistic person, well he's probably more hardworking, more intelligent, more... you get the point. And it goes on and on and makes me walk with my head pointing towards the ground.

My desire for life at the moment is zero, with no will or purpose to live.

I've been verrrrry pessimistic. But now I'll try to change, positive thoughts and blog posts from now on!!! (or as long as I can sustain).

I was actually a positive person. After reading a book by Keith Harrell's book, Attitude is Everything. But then afterwards I read another book, 7 habits of highly successful people.
In it it states that positivity does not bring results, or something like that.

An example to illustrate this point was that, a traveler is following a wrong map to get to his destination. A successful traveler will find the proper map, and the 'positive' traveler is absolutely positive that he will get to his destination.

From that point on, it kind of threw all the things I read about positivity away.

and negativity began... even when I go otu with my friends, we were dreaming about what cars to own in the future.
Of course anybody's dream car would be a Ferrari ( or a Lambo, depends on which camp you're in) When he mentioned a Ferrari I immediately said "Wah, sure cannot lah"
Then he told me "Why so negative?"

I didn't realize I was being negative because I thought that was the truth, I mean, what are the chances, of my friend and I, from one of the laziest class in school, in owning a Ferrari?

(yeah yeah I know A dream is only a dream and a goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline, make the dream a goal! *wow positive thinking right there!*)

but seriously, what are the chances and the probability????

so do you think I was being negative there?...

but anyhow from then, negativity and pessimism became automatic and apart of me.
Kenneth, the negative boy.

Okay from now on, positive thoughts...wow this is really harder than I thought...
I'm trying to say "I can do it" in my mind at the moment but as soon as I said " I can.... *negativity kicks in*... I sure cannot lah".

hmmm I should re-read that attitude is everything book!!
All the way babeh!!!!!

okay since I'm on an enthusiastic roll... let me tell you a joke. well, a to-be joke

Watching movies alone have become a norm to me and this morning while waiting for my car to be serviced I went to watch the incredible hulk movie( go watch it in the cinema, the sound effects and loudness are great). So I was lining up at Cineleisure's ticket counter,

Ticket girl: Hi

Me: yeah, Incredible Hulk, 12.15pm

Ticket girl: How many? One?

Me: Yeah....

Me: ...Unless you want to watch it with me. *give cheeky smile*

haha no I didn't said that, the conversation just ended at yeah, but I so wanted to ask her unless you want to watch it with me...haha wouldn't that be funny?

and if she said sure, but I get off work at 3pm, we watch the 4pm show okay?

And then we watch it together at 4pm and then get to know each other and live happily ever after.

Dream on Kenneth.

And another thought, before the movie I was having breakfast alone (scared to call any friends, fear of rejection mah*damn, negative*), while reading Memoirs of a Geisha (Chiyo-chan~!!), I had this thought, if I were to be a bachelor, for life! and nobody ever wants me...

I could always go to a maid agency and pick a decent looking one and treat her like a wife...


why do I even have such thoughts???????

pessimistic I guess, pessimistic about finding a girl... A friend tells me not to worry, you'll meet a lot of people when you start working...

1) well for starters many working guys don't have a girl...so what a re the chances that I would be able to find one?
2) Work? it seems like an eternity from now!!

sigh okay okay sorry no more negative thoughts I can't help it. It's au-to-ma-tic~

Automatic by Utada Hikaru, enjoy, have a good day!


izso said...

Kenneth my friend, positivity and plain stupidity share the same boat, but aren't the same. If the travellor was positively sure he got the right map, it wouldn't have hurt to reconfirm, then go happily on his way. Personally I think positivity in your perspective and that book are way off tangent. Yes positivity won't produce results, that's because positivity is an attitude, not an action. Results is action orientated.

Like that cinema lady, positivity would've given you the balls (attitude) to have said the last line. Whether she accepts (results) or not depends on how you followup (smile, laugh, get her name, etc - ie-action).

Very different man. That success book is right, but it's not in conflict with the positivity book.

Incidentally I got a date in the most uncanny of situations. A girl had run into me and my car and caused some damage on my bumper which was already damaged. She was apologising profusely and offering to pay but knowing it was already damaged (and the fact that she wasn't so bad looking) I just told her to buy me dinner and we call it even. It kinda shocked her but it led to a pretty interesting friendship. That was a pretty interesting dinner too.

footiam said...

izso, nice to meet you! Seen my name mentioned the other time but didn't get to say hello. Me, funny guy, yeah? That's a compliment, I suppose. Thanks. If not, thanks too for a mention.

Ken- you have no will or purpose to live? That doesn't sound very positive.Why fill your mind with things you can't do? Think about things you could do and good at. I think everyone has this problem. We are not superman and we can't do this and that. We can only do this, and this alone and we may not even excel in it. We are human, man; so, be one and take advantage of being one. We have excuses for having shortcomings! Read your books for all they are worth but don't let them influence you the way that 7 habits of highly successful people influenced you. It is the same with religious books. The mind is the forerunner - you may have read this in one; don't take the words in the book; you have to weigh it ; and weigh it accordingly. Certain things are true at certain time; for instance,if you are talking about the Great Wall of China and its role in keeping out invaders, it would be very irrelevant today. People can use a plane or a helicopter or something to invade; who needs a Great Wall. Live happily, Ken- You can do it! Be true to yourself. Be answerable to yourself. If it is not necessary, then don't worry.

yapster said...

Good show on the TGV story…would’ve been interesting if you actually did that… balls of steel. :P LOL…should try it one day! I agree with footiam and izso, you have so much talent in you but you just don’t see it. ( don’t SS ah…that is not the point…okay you can..but don’t over SS. ) Most girls look at a persons character first then only looks or whatever comes next. Some don’t even consider looks. ( I mean don’t look like hantu can edi la… I think u know this rite? -_-“) Well for starters, you don’t have his IC, his bank card number, his girlfriend, etc etc… ok lame…It's not what you don't have, its what you THINK you don't have! You have so much potential, don't put it to waste! Work it!

Positivity keeps you motivated. It doesn’t “bring results” but it HELPS you GET the results. If you had a map, but you’re negative about the trip, you won’t get there. You’ll be stuck at home saying “I can’t do it I can’t do it, too dumb too dumb. Duno how to read map…” So it’s just as important!At least that’s what I think…

You weren’t being negative about the Ferrari, you were being REALISTIC. Some people just can’t afford one. I’m not saying you can’t, maybe you can in the future. WHY NOT?! But it’s okay not to own one. It’s a WANT, not a NEED after all...right?

And come on Kenneth, you won’t be a bachelor for life…you must plan ahead…like what Mrs. Lim said “Failing to plannnn is planning to failllll” If you tell yourself you’ll be a bachelor, you WILL. Although that’s highly unlikely cuz I believe lotsa girls will come and snatch you! LOL…and you being the selfless one will give in to one of them…LOLOLOL :P

In time you will surely find her one la…it’s just a matter of time. Contrary to what you think, I believe that it is ideally to get a girlfriend = wife when you’ve started working. ( If you intend to have a long term serious relationship lah or else just skip this…) Why? Because by then you’ve established yourself, you’re stable, you have a future. Most girls look for stability as they age. Do you think you will be able to provide that if you continue to be negative and worry about girls? Still many transitions left in life, from uni to work life. And then maybe you change your job to a better one, or maybe you emigrate to another country. Every major change you make in your life is a transition. And until you’ve settled that part of your life, that is the ideal time to get a girlfriend. This doesn’t mean when you’ve earn your first million or tenth million la of course…It’s at which ever state that you’re stable. This of course would totally be opposed by many who agree with the “trial and error” method where you get a girl and see if it works, if it doesn’t no harm done kinda thing.

Hope this helps, stay positive and stay happy!

yapster said...


izso said...

"Trial and error".. me thinks me likes that. In more vulgar terms "F*ck 'em all! Then only decide which is the keeper". XD

Ignore me.

Footiam : kudos. Kenneth and I are both curious to know how young you are.

Yapster, well said!

Kenneth Tang a.k.a Fishbonezken said...

aiyorr....how you are you guys so correct in your thinking. Thanks for all the answers, you guys are certainly right. Come to think of it, I'm now beginning to think I'm selfish to write stupid stuff here and have you all come and spend/waste your time correcting me. I mean why couldn't I think of that.

btw just to remind, it's not an obligation yeah, you can stop commenting anytime.

wah only you can get a date from a car accident lah haha. Hey your example just reminded me of the formula in the attitude book, forgot where I put that book. I'll look it up again.

thank you. You're always encouraging to me!

haha failing to plan is planning to fail I forgot all about that. Thanks for your reply, I'm clearer now.

izso said...


Obligation? Correct thinking?

If you started to think like me I'd shoot you. To each his own judgement. Be your own judgement and you will not be judged.

Btw, footiam and I have one thing you don't have - age and experience. Hehehe. So yes we may act like 15 year olds sometimes, but we know better. Some of the times anyway. LOL