Friday, December 12, 2008

Motherland

Ohhh yeah, it's China baby!

So I was excited to go to China as I haven't been overseas for a looong time. And I envisage the place to be superior to Malaysia.

So here's my experience:

First stop is Hong Kong airport, from there we transfer to China.

At the airport, it was lunchtime and I decided to share a burger with my dad (I know I know, go Hong Kong eat burger? WTF?). So at the Burger King counter, my server doesn't speak english and this is how the conversation went.

Me: Bei ngo dai sei hou
Eng: Give me number 4

Plum lady server:
Eng: Medium or small?

Me: Medium
Eng: Medium

Me: Hor yi pong ngo chit liong pin mou?
Eng: Can you help me cut it into half?

* Plum lady server gives me a dazed look

Plum lady server: Ngo bei pa tou lei ah?
Eng: I give you a piece of knife?

* And I was like, wtf.... *

Me: ohh, ahhh, okok
Eng: ohh, ahhh, okok

Okay, so that was a bit unexpected, her un-politeness, or I'm just not used to it.

So anyhow we transferred to China and suddenly, all the Cantonese and English I was hearing back at HK airport disappeared, it's all Mandarin Chinese and I feel like I'm on Mars or something.

WTF ARE THEY SPEAKING???

Well I do understand a bit, and could only catch a few of the words they were shooting out of their mouths.

That night as I was walking in the streets of Shenzhen, I came across a shop and saw people buying bubble tea from it and I'm a big fan of one so as I head towards the counter, the lady offered me a menu, and it all looked like Greek to me!

okay well it's Chinese.

And with me full of pride and trying to evade embarrassment whenever possible, I walked away, fearing that they would sense my illiterate-ness. But I wanted a bubble tea drink so bad, I walked back up to the counter, pretending like a local, browed through the menu and stopped at the third item down the list, "Zhi ge" (This one)

"Mang guo ^$%@^ @#&^!%@ ?"
"shi shi" (Yes yes)

I recognized it was mango and thank goodness! Jackpot! Mango bubble tea, woohoo! Luckily I didn't strike something else because;

1) I like mango bubble tea, I mean who doesn't.

2) Thankfully, I didn't strike Duck's Feet bubble tea

And it costs me 6 Yuan (RM 3), and it tastes, phenomenal! It's the best bubble tea I've tasted ever!

The mango bubble tea in Malaysia is all, just plain synthetic flavour with some fake milky taste(creamer)

The China one is, like for real dawg!, with little chunks of mango in it, and the pearls are small and chewy, nicely cooked!

Seriously, it is phe-no-mi-nal.

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There's the bubble tea on the left, a cheap fake mango drink in the middle and 3 China flashlight I bought from the streets, which I got slaughtered for.

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The bubble tea shop is on the left (green signage), sorry for the blurry pic, I had to quickly snap it and put my phone back into my pocket. Taking a picture of a store there practically pus a huge ass flashing neon sign over my head saying, "LOOK! I'M A TOURIST! I HAVEN'T SEEN A BUBBLE TEA SHOP BEFORE!! LOOK AT ME!"

Oh yeah speaking of the locals, to avoid being detected as one as you are walking down the street I've created an ingenious idea.

First, Put your hands in your jacket pocket. Secondly, squint your eyes so that you are still able to see, but enough to look like a chinese.
Thirdly, hunch your back, don't walk with a good and straight posture.
Lastly, put your last finger up your nose and dig it.

You'll blend in immediately! Put all this together and you got an invisible Chinese cloak which enables you to walk on any street, under the radar.

After finishing our time in Shenzhen, we went to...erm forgot what is the name of the town/city/province, and we took the domestic flight.

Here I am at the airport,
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Here are pictures of one of their local petrol stations, Sinopec.
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And for dinner that night, you have the privilege to choose from a wide range of delicacies, to show a few of the local favourites,

Dog meat,
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Pig face,
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and snakes,
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Mmmmm, doesn't that all look simply appetizing??

We also had this, lobster sashimi,
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call me a bad eater as the raw meat is supposed to be very sweet but I tasted absolutely nothing. The flesh on the bottom half is taken out and is laid beside it, which is the white semi-clear thing you see near it's tail. All this while the lobsters hid is still moving a bit.

I felt cruel, chewing on it's flesh while looking at the alive and moving lobster.
It didn't feel good.

However, it didn't felt as bad as the time I put 4 BB gun bullets into a lizard.
It was in my room before my exam an I wanted to sleep, but I couldn't as the big lizard was on the wall above the bed. And I made a bad judgement of trying to shoot it.

The first bullet hit it's leg, which made it limp half way across the room, and then it stopped there, and I wanted it to go away, so I shoot a second shot. Which was puzzling as I didn't see it hit the lizard and didn't see it bounce off the wall either.

The third shot hit it's front leg and I could see a 'bruise', and then I couldn't stop there as it was suffering and had to kill it. :( :( :( !!!

At this point I felt really really really really down, I didn't dare shoot it again so my mum shot it, and it fell down on to the bed and bounced off to the floor at which point I took a can of Ridsect and sprayed it till it gone pale.

I felt like I murdered a human! It was the most devastating feeling ever, it felt worse then failing all papers in a semester. It was so bad. I promised I would never kill a lizard again.

Here's the lizard shot and severely wounded on my pillow,

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And remember the 'bruise', it was actually the red pellet which got stuck at the lizard's leg.

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And the shot that was puzzling? it wasn't that I didn't hit it, I did hit it but it
went into the lizard's stomach and caused it's guts to spill out.

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The weapon used,

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I was destroyed, I must've build years of bad karma with this. I intentionally, first-handed killed a creature.

It was terrible.

Ok, back to the motherland.

Here's a local street market,
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selling all types of foodstuff, fried noodles, pan-fried dumplings, candy coated fruits on a stick, lok-lok style dishes, pork 'hands', etc.

And the next two days, we headed to a new destination, the people there were not as fast-moving as the other province here, there are a lot of Karaoke bars.

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The night-view is better. And I don't mean the huge neon signs, it's the girls.

This area near the hotels taht I walk by I see alot of old men with young girls full with make-up blonde hair and very very very verrry pretty.

speaking of pretty, I don't know if it's me or what but there'e so much more pretty girls in China! I think it's because I'm Chinese my hormones rage when I see a girl with Chinese features.

Seriously, even at the poorer rural places the working girls look so pretty to me, and they are just the normal young girls.

At the new area, the prostitutes, or so-called local tour guide are almost like superstar, my hormones were raging during the trip to China.

China dolls. The term suits them perfectly.

Oh, continuing from my previous post, I didn't get the chance to meet the Korean girl, I had three papers back to back and being the master procrastinator that i am, I didn't sleep to study for the first two papers, by the 3rd night, I just couldn't push my body any further, I fell into a deep sleep and overslept for the paper, so I had to defer it with an illness reason. My laziness cost me heavily this time.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN KENNETH!!!

Nowadays I spend most of my time, cleaning my own car, catching up with things that I should have done months ago, and gaming.

Remember I used to brag about the greatness of Call of Duty 4?

Well, I got into it so much that I'm in an amateur clan, bought myself gaming equipments(mouse, mouse pad, keyboard, headphones), and have joined an on-going competition.

Everytime I go for training, I feel like a sampah masyarakat. I think nothing good comes out of gaming, you play with many players with bad attitude, I think all of those whom I know are materialistic, nothing good comes out of it.

so why can't I stop?

because, the fun, is, addictive.

Argh, my Buddhist side is deteriorating, I'm regressing faster and deeper each day.
But the thing I noticed is, I'm seldom depressed nowadays... could it be the gaming?

When I'm more extroverted, I don't get depressed.
When I'm introverted, locked up in my own hole, I ask myself all the self doubting questions which makes me depressed.

Hmmm.....

And onwards is 7 things about me, got tagged by Footiam.
His post is here:
http://dhammadelights.blogspot.com/2008/12/meme-7-facts-about-me.html

Okay I will write 7 things about my current self which most people do not know, the little details.

1) I feel like vomiting if I eat too fast or too much. It's like I get a hangover after eating chicken rice.

2) I'm overprotective towards my sister.

3) I'm afraid that my orthodontist will scold me because I haven't visited her after I took out my braces 3-4 years ago, which is why I never made an appointment, until last week.

4) I need things to be clean, organized an tidy, if not I feel uncomfortable. My blanket has to be folded, even if it was unfolded at 8pm.

5) I believe achieving perfection is possible, even though everybody tells me there's no such thing as a person with no flaws.

6) There are a few Buddha images hanging on my cupboard and wall, so I don't shoot the airplane in the room, but in the toilet. *EWWWW OK a little too much info there*

7) I want to be a nurse, not a businessman.

ok I have to tag 7 other people but I'm an introvert and don't like to show my neediness of others, yeah very shallow, so I'll just tag one person.

Yep, you guessed it alright, IZSO!

www.izso.blogspot.com, you are tagged! Write 7 facts about yourself please :)

14 comments:

izso said...

KNN.. kena a tag! LOL will try to post up 7 facts if I can think of any.

And interesting trip in China dude. Bubble tea of all things! LOL

Eh Lizard are better than anything else. They leave a lotta shit but that doesn't smell or cause anything other than a mess. They eat cockroaches and insects and are pretty harmless. So leave them be. Better lizards than other things.

izso said...

Done! Check my blog

footiam said...

If you feel bad about shooting lizards or anything at all, then don't!Glad to know that you are not so depressed now. I am sure you are going to be fine. And I appreciate the 7facts about yourself. Perhaps, you should take your time to eat and eat moderately. It's good to be protective of your sister. I sure would be glad to be your sister but if it's overprotective, it could also overwhelms. Change your orthodentist if she scolds you. You don't pay to be scolded. I believe people can be perfect too but according to one's own standards. Don't just have Buddha's image in your room; have the teaching in your heart and it's actually nice to shoot the airplane in the room; you can clean up easily. You can be a nurse too; if you have good thoughts for others and have kind words, you'll nurse a lot of people and that is even if you are a businessman. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert; be a happy one!

Khirul said...

hey ken, i'd prolly fail trying to blend it right? can't even get pass monash guards. haha

i've privatized my blog, email me at khirulez@gmail.com for access.

MiaSuraya said...

you should put a warning notice before the lizard pictures. for some people who are 'allergic' to them.. seeing the gut out somemore.......

dog meat and snakes, ive heard of. but pig face?? for real?? looks like a huge kepala ikan.

DonovanChanJianWen said...

DUDE!
you got some STRONG BB GUN there!
Can i check it out?
Man, i'm glad you're more extroverted now you know, reminds me of the Kenneth i first met.

More poker mo? Poker pro!
I still have your Red Alert 3 CD and yet to install it.
Btw do you see IAN?

Kenneth Tang a.k.a Fishbonezken said...

izso,

dude, you are Grade 7 in Piano??? damnnn, I didn't know that!
*experiencing dejavu now for some odd reason*
yes I've learned my lesson, better lizard than other things.



footiam,

I went back to the same orthodontist and I worried all for nothing, in fact she was so much kinder than I remembered! I feel kinda sad now that I don't have to go back to her anymore.LOL at "you can clean up easily" ! hahaha! thx for your comment



khirul,

hahaha, that moment was funny at first and scary in the end, LOL. We'll come up with another ingenius way for you to blend in the next time you come :)



Amira,

hey, long time no seeee, how's your hols, sorry for nothing putting a warning in advance, di dyou vomit after seeing the pictures? :P yes, pig face fo' shizzle!



Jian,

Crazy BB Gun man, my bro bought it from neighbours up on my lane, and two days ago saw them using the same gun trying to shoot birds from my roof. grrrrrr. I'm back to an introvert already in Malaysia, haha.
Yes more poker! but you start work di leh, not tired ke?
take your time with the RA3, noooo rush, I don't need the CD to play. I seldom play it too. see you soon!

izso said...

RA3 is out??? :O

Daaaaaamn. gotta get it

Jian said...

Thanks Kenneth!
Just let me know when you want it k
And COD4 mo?
Serena coming down again, later got no time to play lol.

footiam said...

Kenneth, using your cicak photo for my latest post at dhamma delights!

Kenneth Tang a.k.a Fishbonezken said...

izso,

yes it is!!


Jian,

LoL, nvm when Serena comes down we can poker!!! muahahaha


footiam,

sure footiam, it's not copyrighted :)

izso said...

Hey Kenneth, can you duplicate a copy of the game for me? I've been looking high and low for *those* shops and they aren't open anymore!

izso said...

Update la wei. How've you been man.

lala said...

random viewer here! found ur blog on google, and i read through like 3 pages, which is a LOT (scrollbar so smallll!! D8) good job on the blog; it's really sweet at times and thoughtful and still funny!! :D keep posting pictures!! it makes ur entries so interesting!